Shoe Horn Dream.

Insomnia. No matter how many sheep I force over that fence, you will not budge. That's okay, I have relaxing music ... that seems to be speaking in tongues. Plan B. Beloved film . Never fails.

Failed.

SATC1. Bliss. From start to end it's insomnia dressed up in sheep's clothing (!); a woollen blanket of adoration, jealousy and an urge to 'wahhh' quite regularly.

In hindsight I should've chosen Monty Python's 'The Life of Brian', I've not the foggiest why, but the film is always a great aid in putting me on the train the Noddyland.

As I lie in bed (thinking I'm Carrie, naturally) I've one thought on my mind. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes.

Recently out of plaster for an ankle injury caused by a tubby-custard man teetering on the brink of morbid obesity (I'm being polite) I can only wear flats. How deflating. Especially with the festive season upon us, or should that be fetish-heel season?

I've a dramatic amount of dresses, copious amounts of clothing that all need a heel. Of course there's the option of a Manolo Blahnik flat, perhaps even a manoeuvrable Nicholas Kirkwood (yes there are a few) but surely my first purchase of such enmities should be a statement heel? Brushing revenue woes aside, what's a weak ankled girl to do?Run the risk of eternal damage, or be the pip-squeak of the pack.

Still, in a recent interview, Mr B noted that flats (yes flats) can be sexy;

"Flat shoes can be more elegant. You just have to work at it. You have to learn how to walk elegantly in them. Think of Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, she walksin flat shoes like a reindeer with one front directly in front of another. Bridget Bardot - she is sex on flats! She's beautiful! I hope it's [2010] the year of the flat shoe. Just remember, you have to make them feminine. Practise walking in them" (Glamour Magazine)

(Reasonable) answers on the back of a postcard.

From left; the Paternona range (Manolo Blahnik), Nichola Kirkwood flats (image from fashioneditoratlarge.blogspot)

Post Script.

On a lighter-(footed)note, finally decided on Mother's present; a calendar with lovely images adorning it. Available on boots.com, you simply upload images & the 12 month friend is with you within a week. That's another hour of digging out old snaps to amuse me then. I'm so glad I took scanning to new extremes 2 years ago by scanning in … every snap-shot I owned.