Lie-oh-sell

The company I work for have rolled out a new (cheaper, most likely) fabric to incorporate into their designs.

Lyocell.

It's wood.

A customer (C) put it to me (M) *

C. Say, you, redhead, what material has been used to construct this garment?

M. Lyocell madam

C. What the devil is that?

M. Essentially a wood pulp, derived from ... (cut off mid schpeel)

C. WOOD? WOOD? I do not wish to wear a tree

M. I believe Stella McCartney uses such material, it's very strong - both when wet and dry (schpeel, schpeel, schpeel)

C. (bemused look, think she's buying it). Ah, I am environmentally friendly and green, I'll try ...

* This may or may not have been fabricated.

She did however note she was 'green'. That's obviously why her car was waiting outside, running on air presumably, much like the private jet it was taking her to.

Green, shpeen.

She sells sea-shells, on the sea shore.