Hummus

Last day of unemployment, or as Mother calls it, 'freedom'.

I noted in a tweet that 'strolling' was my only mantra of the day. & it hasn't disappointed.

Whilst at a pedestrian crossing a dog called Hummus attempted to get under my (unbelievably) wide-legged trousers &hump my leg.

I got wold-whistled by the local tramp, who was riding a bike.

I lied to the beautician as to why I'd not been for a wax in so long. Said I've been traveling. Mortifying.

A gypsy came to my door with a paving spiel. He littered the 5 minute conversation with 'ya know?', had that mock-Irish accent and fulfilled the stereotypical mould of a 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' male.

I received a message on the dating site I'm on (regret):

saintordevil: welcome to manchester-would luv to chat-gd taste in music,v attractive and a redhead mmmm

He's obviously not read my profile one jot. I read his;

Unhappily married but trapped and unable to leave for the sake of the children.

No closeness and little sex in the relationship.
Stressful family and work situation and in need of an occasional release and distraction.
Only avaialable on a limted basis-mainly daytimes.
I'm looking for a friend with benefits

VILE.

Me: Heres a few tips:

Either stay married and don't stray or leave. Children aren't an excuse.
Learn to spell.
Read profiles before you send your spiel.

saintordevil: Thank you for the advice,sorry if I offended you.Still welcome to our great city.I can spell perfectly well and amazingle i know the abbreviations too! If you ever need a tour let me know and you are still very attractive. Good luck

GOOD LORD. If he gets a date & I don't I'll eat my hat.

It's only 4.55. I, I, I, me, me, me.