Tuesday, 13 March 2012

High Vis Dating.

I'm staring wistfully outside. There are three reasons:

Squirrels & adorable creatures of nature
NB, not in priority order

Being trapped indoors due to gas pipe maintenance has its (minor) perks. The high-vis clad men rat-a-tatted on my door at 10, I flounced out all 'just got out of bed' when I'd done 2 exercise videos, washed my hair, slapped BB cream on and filled in my brows. You know, casual. We engaged in light banter as they took up some flagging. & I indulged them in tea and biscuits. I'm nice like that.

Flirting, tea making, flirting, laughing about my inability to find gas meter, flirting and hair swishing.

Not sure why, but gritty Mancunian accents with an equally weather beaten stance has an amazing ability to reduce me to what can only be described as a middle-aged single tart. I'm no giggler, but Jesus, one slightly amusing line escaped their mouths & I was throwing my head back hyena-like and wiggling as I dashed to make their brews.

This shameful action led me to contemplate my current love life. My being excited at 12 young strapping builders being outside, reflects just how (in)active my dating-sphere is.

Since moving back from London (10 days ago) I joined a dating site. Be it through boredom or being inspired by a friends new lady (met online), the traditional notion of 'internet dating' shed some of its stigma. Either that or my desperation swelled.
To be frank, bar/club hopping has lost its appeal. A few issues:

Gaining attention from (any) men is difficult if you don't resemble one of the Saturdays
If the male crowd are 'alternative', you're never 'alternative' enough
I'm not an (attractive) dancer
You can't hear more than 25% of the conversation
I only attract very strange men. No exaggeration.

As I'm not going to squeeze into a bandage dress or watch TOWIE for pulling tips or any time soon I'm thinking 'outside of the box' (hardly).

Just moved home to Manchester from London. Working in PR and starting a male style advice site come Summer, this is not to say that I'm a fashion obsessive or overly critical of anyone else's style. Aged 23, with a penchant for 50s/60s related music and style, indie music, a keen interest in discovering new places, people and actively avoiding the humdrum of reality. Dry humoured. I appreciate wit and the ability to spell correctly. No cliched characters need apply. Cannot abide frugality (bad experience).

Standard right?

Within 4 hours I'd had 30 responses, 95% asking whether I'd like some 'fun' (substitute the word fun with a more colourful action) or worse, a sob-story (this isn't an X-Factor audition). What really got my goat was the inability to read. I'm from Manchester, I don't need 'showing around' and I specifically noted I appreciate the ability to spell correctly. One message;

'Hey ther, how it going? cool profile, love thoes picturs, anyway im kinda new to dis. Not sure i should say, but if u chek my prof an like what u c, id love 2 talk mre. Anywy peace xx'

I ask you. This was from a 26 year old male who develops software. Education?

Still. There were one or two who seemed relatively normal who contacted me. I've agreed to a date (after some witty error free banter) with a Graphic Designer. We'll see.

On telling my friend I was embarking on this, she gave me a rape alarm. I certainly know how to pick them.

1 comment:

  1. OH honey - I tip I have been told by several people when you look at the pictures of the said potential beau's if there is one ugly picture in the set of glossy looking group - that is the real image and that is who will turn up on the date.